What Does It Mean to Be Aromantic: Meaning & Facets
- Camilla Vaiani
- Feb 15
- 5 min read
When Mirta and Vicky asked me to write an article about being aromantic for Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I immediately accepted with great enthusiasm because this is an orientation and identity in which I personally find myself.
All of my past romantic experiences ended after just a few dates—most didn’t even make it past the first. The reason was almost always me: I never felt any kind of emotional connection or romantic attraction toward the other person. Not only did I have zero sexual interest, but I also never felt the urge to initiate any form of physical affection—no desire for cuddling, hugging, or kissing.
What has always fascinated me about a person is their mind — their values, principles, and ability to communicate and hold a meaningful conversation.
I don’t care about flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry, or fancy dinners. What matters to me are words, deep conversations, and meaningful messages—not hearing "my love," "sweetheart," or "baby" filled with heart emojis. For someone like me, mental and communicative connections are essential, not physical or sexual ones.
But what exactly does aromanticism mean?
Quick Summary
Aromanticism is not a lack of emotions — it’s a different way of experiencing affection and relationships, often outside traditional romance.
The aromantic spectrum is diverse, including identities like demiromantic, grey-aromantic, and quoiromantic, each with unique ways of feeling or not feeling romantic attraction.
Aromanticism and asexuality are distinct—aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction, while asexuality refers to little to no sexual attraction.
Aromantic People, But Not Without Feelings
So, what does it mean to be aromatic? The term aromantic refers to someone who does not feel the need to engage in a traditional romantic relationship. This does not mean that an aromantic person is incapable of experiencing emotions, forming deep emotional connections, or even feeling sexual attraction.
I know, we aromantic creatures may not always be the easiest to understand. But let me reassure you of one thing: we do feel emotions, we can be empathetic and sensitive—we are not heartless monsters. It’s just that we express love differently, often in unconventional and non-dramatic ways.
I wish I could tell you that there’s a guidebook to decoding the way we communicate emotions, but the reality is quite different. No universal “technique” exists, because aromanticism is not linked to gender identity or sexual orientation.
Instead, it is a spectrum, one that interacts with a person’s individual personality, shaping unique and diverse characteristics (Cosmopolitan, 2023).
The Many Shades of Aromanticism
Since aromanticism is a spectrum, there are many different facets to being aromantic. Here are just a few (WebMD, 2023; VeryWell Mind, 2023):
Demiromanticism
Describes individuals who can only feel romantic attraction after forming an emotional bond.
Litoromanticism or Akoiromanticism
Applies to those who experience romantic attraction but do not want it to be reciprocated—in many cases, they lose interest once it is returned.
Grey-romanticism
For these individuals, experiencing romantic attraction is extremely rare or nearly impossible, unless very specific conditions are met.
Quoiromanticism
Involves difficulty distinguishing between emotional and platonic attraction.
Cupioromanticism
Refers to aromantic individuals who do not enjoy being aromantic and wish they could experience romantic attraction.
Reciproromanticism
Describes people who only experience romantic attraction if they know the other person feels the same way.
Beyond Misconceptions: Aromantic vs Asexual
When people hear the term aromantic, many assume it refers to the "A" in LGBTQIA+. But this is where the misunderstanding begins!
The "A" in the LGBTQIA+ acronym stands for "Asexual." While some are aware of this, a second misconception often follows—the belief that aromanticism and asexuality are the same thing.
The truth is they describe distinct experiences:
An aromantic person feels little to no romantic attraction toward others.
An asexual person experiences little to no sexual attraction.
It is possible to identify as both aromantic and asexual, but this is not always the case.
Aromantic and asexual individuals can still form deep, meaningful relationships based on affection, respect, and mutual trust. One example of such relationships is queerplatonic connections, which are intimate bonds that, while not romantic, can include aspects of traditional relationships, such as living together or offering strong emotional support.
Additionally, some aromantic or asexual individuals may choose to engage in romantic or sexual relationships for various reasons. Some may seek physical intimacy without romantic involvement, while others may enter romantic relationships to fulfill a partner’s needs or for personal reasons, such as a desire for companionship or stability.
Finally, for many aromantic and asexual people, friendships play a central role in their lives. Platonic connectionscan provide the same depth and emotional intensity as romantic relationships, becoming a vital source of comfort, support, and belonging (HealthLine, 2022).
Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week: Celebrating Aromanticism
To increase awareness and understanding of aromanticism, the Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (ASAW) was created—a dedicated week aimed at promoting visibility and acceptance of the aromantic spectrum and the unique experiences of aromantic people.
ASAW typically takes place during the first full week (starting on Sunday) after Valentine’s Day, offering a space for individuals to celebrate their identities and experiences. Initially established as Aromantic Awareness Week from November 10 to 17, 2014, it was later moved to February in 2015 and renamed to specifically recognize all identities within the aromantic spectrum.
The goal of ASAW: to give aromantic individuals a space to come together, celebrate, and express themselves—especially during a time of year that is universally romanticized (Arospecweek).
Being Aromantic in a Romantic World
In today’s society, living as an aromantic person is not always easy.
The world tends to build a narrative where romantic love is seen as the core of human experience, an essential milestone for happiness and personal fulfillment. This "standardized romanticism" can make aromantic individuals feel out of place, as if they are missing something fundamental. However, aromanticism is not a lack—it is simply a different way of experiencing human connections.
Overcoming this stigma means recognizing that happiness and fulfillment come in many forms. Relationships based on friendship, family, or queerplatonic bonds can be just as meaningful and fulfilling as romantic ones. It is crucial to promote a more inclusive view of affection, one that values all forms of relationships and allows every individual to express themselves freely without feeling pressured to conform to predefined societal norms.
FAQs
What does it mean to be aromantic?
Being aromantic means not experiencing romantic attraction toward others. Aromantic people approach relationships differently, focusing on emotional bonds and intellectual connections rather than romantic or physical attraction.
Is aromanticism a spectrum?Yes, aromanticism exists on a spectrum, which is why there are various identities within it, including demiromanticism, litroromanticism (or akoiromanticism), grey-aromanticism, quoiromanticism, cupioromanticism, and reciproromanticism.
What is the difference between aromanticism and asexuality?
Aromanticism refers to a lack of romantic attraction, while asexuality refers to a lack of sexual attraction. A person can be aromantic, asexual, or both, but they are not the same thing.
What is Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (ASAW)?
ASAW is a week dedicated to raising awareness and celebrating aromantic identities. It was created to increase visibility of the aromantic spectrum and to help educate people about aromantic experiences and diversity.
Can aromantic people have meaningful relationships?
Yes, aromantic individuals can form deep and meaningful bonds, though these relationships are often based on friendships, familial connections, or queerplatonic relationships, rather than traditional romantic ones.
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